October 1940
Saturday 19th Oct. 1940 Denbigh
Have orders from Welsh Valleys to take down pictures and put away breakables and remove Nervous Nellie. She must think the silly thing is valuable. I'll be happy to see it go. Won't have to listen to it rattling anymore.
Pickering brought prezzies over: chocolates, two packets of Gold Flake smokos and silk stockings. Silk stockings won't do me much good with all this dressing on my leg. Will save for special occasion and keep liquid stockings for now.
He is doing a painting for Perkin's Christmas bazaar. Didn't know Pickering painted but he seems very involved, working on it every spare moment. I can't wait to see. Perkins is very busy with bazaar. She's had many donations and offers of crafts. Hutch has offered a promise to strip an engine but Perkins turned her down saying it’s not the sort of thing people want to buy at a Christmas bazaars. How does Perkins know? I volunteered to man the Stn 44 table. Couldn't think of anything else.
Sunday 20 Oct ’40 Denbigh
Westminster Panto people want me to come along for auditions tomorrow. Leg still hurts but I think I shall go.
Monday 21st Oct Denbigh
Panto people have asked me to try for role of Prince Charming! Fancy that. Me as Prince Charming. Panto will be at Comedy Theatre Jan 1 - 11 except 5.
Later
Found a little orphan today crawling up the pavement on Claverton Street. Thought it was a wounded cat at first but when I got closer, I realised it was a tortoise. Wasn't sure what to do so I picked him up. Seemed happy enough. I knocked on a few doors and asked if people knew him but no one did. One man said he came with the "vermin" from the East End. I didn't knock at any more doors.
Perkins came home and told me to get rid of it immediately. She won't have a tortoise in the house, but I’m not doing that. How could I turn the poor thing out in the middle of a war? What if he was bombed out? He needs a home, a place to live. I found a box and made a little bed for him. He's in the basement. Tomorrow I shall find out what tortoises like to eat.
Tuesday 22 Oct 1940, Dolphin Square
Back at work! Leg sore but it would be sore at home too. Now at least, I’m useful. Perkins is back too. Her face is healing nicely. She seems cheerful enough, but we haven't had much to say to one another.
Rankin said to feed Sir Claverton carrots and greens. His brother has a tortoise.
Later
Sometimes I hate Perkins. I asked if Pickering's sister and family could stay in her mother’s house until they find other accommodation. They were bombed out two nights ago in West Ham and now they’re staying in Pickering's bed-sit but it's crowded, too small for children. The list for new housing is so long and Council isn't making any promises. Perkins gave a flat no. Won't have Quaker Conchies under her roof.
She's insisting I take out advert in newspaper for Sir Claverton.
Wednesday 25th Oct, 1940 Stn 44
High explosives came down on Vincent Square, near infants hospital. Took two casualties to Westminster, one a woman with piece of shrapnel lodged in her abdomen. Bleeding horribly, screaming like a lunatic. Holding a baby in her arms when she was rescued. Perkins covered up the woman's guts with her tin hat and rode in the back of DXP holding the baby. Driving conditions were horrendous, with bombs down all over, burning in the middle of the road in spots not flooded by broken water mains. Took detour after detour. Thought we'd never reach hospital. When we arrived the woman was as good as gone; baby howling. We left the mother with the duty sister and took the baby to the rest centre and left it’s details. Poor child will never see mother again. What will become of it? On the way home, Perkin's had tears in her eyes. Didn’t think she could.
Thursday 26th Oct 1940
World is grey and dull. Faces are pale and eyes sinking into dark sockets. People trudge along with heads down, stepping over heaps of glass, debris and rubbish spread over the pavements. They walk by bomb sites, wrecked homes with ugly smoking holes and don’t even notice. It's normal now. How can this be normal? But it is.
The other day I saw a family of pasty people sitting on deck chairs in front of a burned out wreck that used to be their house. They were like ghosts, sitting there stupidly in front of the bombsite that used to be their house. It’s as if no one bothered to tell them! They go back to rest centres to sleep and then return again the next morning because they don't know what else to do. I wanted to run up and shout at them, shake them back to life, make them see that their home has been destroyed and they have to start over. You can't live your life in an old heap of ash and debris.
Why doesn't anyone tell them? Why do people act as though it isn't happening?
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Ambulance Girl injured by parachute bomb
October 1940
Monday 14th Dolphin
My punishment for talking back to Mustard Gas is one day docked pay. At £1.18.9d a week, it shouldn't be too painful. Must also write letter to Mustard Gas apologising for disruption. He thinks my attitude poses a danger to Civil Defence and the whole of London. Harvey doesn't think Regional Headquarters took his complaint seriously, but she says they had to do something to make Mustard Gas happy. I can work a day with no pay or stay home. My choice. I think I’ll work to spite him.
Tuesday 15 Oct, Denbigh
Jerries raiding outside. We’re sitting in our mattress house. It’s full moon tonight so we’re easy targets. You can smell in the air, even the mattress house in the cellar. Noise is constant. Seems to be getting louder and closer.
I’d rather be out in the middle of it than in here in the dark in this stupid mattress house. If I can see it, then I can move out of the way. In here you’re just a sitting duck, hiding like a coward.
I’m getting better at picking out the sounds: the drones of incoming Jerries, the bang-bang-bang of ack ack fire, swishing and swooshing of incoming bombs, the deep bone-rattling booms of explosions and dead thud when they don't, the ting-ting-ting of flying shrapnel and glass, the crackle of fires, clanging of fire brigades, the hiss of spraying water, the squeal of a burnt child or moan of a burning wall just before it collapses. When you’re outside, everything is sharper and you can see. In here it’s dull.
Later
Candle’s flickering. Hard to see. Perkins won’t let us light another. Says it’s a waste. She’s over there now knitting and putting on her little show like Himself says. You have to be brave and show Jerry that we can’t be broken. That’s Perkins. Can’t break her. She’s made of stone.
Later
Had terrible row with Perkins. Night full of Blitz. Bombs swooshing down and exploding so close you can feel the walls wobble. Thought I could hear something in the house. Crying. Checked every room but couldn't find anything. Perkins said I was being silly. But I could hear it. Crying, like a child’s. Perkins says it’s because I go back to the bombsites to see the damage when I should just forget everything. I can’t forget. Perkins says you have to. But I’m not going to forget because I’m going to tell people about this when it’s over. Maybe even before. I want people to know the sound of little children cries. Perkins wouldn’t hear it and said I should button up. Loose lips sink ships.
Later
The bombs coming closer, getting louder, whole house shaking. Saw candlelit fear on Perkin's face.
Later
Now she’s singing that wretched Roll out the bleedin’ Barrel. Top of her lungs. Trying to drown out Jerry with Roll out the Barrel. And she won’t stop. I want to pull tear out my hair. Or her’s. I told her to button up but she just went on singing: We'll have a barrel of fun. Ho Ho Ho! Isn’t it fun. Maybe we’ll take a direct hit and have a real barrel of fun.
Later
Whole house wrenched. That one too close. Someone's world is crushed. Perkins still singing. Still hear cries in house. Getting louder. Make it stop. Make Perkins stop. Make Jerries stop. Make little cries stop.
Later
Put my hand over Perkins’ mouth to make her stop. She bit it. I shouted, telling her to stop lying. We're not having a barrel of fun! We’re scared and exhausted, sick with worry and no amount of silly singing will change that!
Perkins says I’m as bad as Jerry, an enemy of Britain. If we lost the war she will hold me responsible because I'm a moaner and moaners sink spirits and if spirits sink, London sinks.
Not talking to P now.
?????
Don’t know the day. Can’t think of where I am right now.
Bells ringing in my ears. Big clangers. They get louder… closer.. then they fade. Throat is raw with grit. I can taste bitter cordite in my nose and in windpipe. When I blow nose brick dust comes out of my nose. My hand has a terrible shake. My handwriting is different. Must write so I don't forget.
Later
Right leg throbbing just above the knee. Head itchy on one side. Head isn't behaving properly. Where am I?
Later…
What day is it? Desperate for sleep. Perkins always sleeps. Not me.
Later
Woke in a sweat, shaking. Wanted to scream but kept seeing Perkins’ face. You can only sing. You can’t scream. Severed fingers and children with scalps burnt off, their parents in agony. Burnt flesh. You can smell it. But we sing, we don’t scream. This is Blitzkrieg.
???
Perkins' face sprayed with splinters and burning ash. Her back is bruised, but she'll be fine. Hope her face heals. So pretty.
Later
Tonne of dust went down my throat. Have big gash on my head, just above the ear. Henry Adams said helmet saved me. After it happened they took me to Dolphin First Aid afterwards. Everything fuzzy, bits missing, but lights were so very bright. Hurt my eyes and what was that echo in the room? Henry's voice. Damned lucky girl, it kept saying. Damned lucky. My lungs should have burst.
Later..
Head feels like a load of fighting drunks at pub closing.
Later…
Don't know time. It's dark and I'm on the bed with my leg bandaged up. Head is itchy, bottom numb. They said I landed in a patch of grass. Thank God the grass wasn't on fire!
Later
My chest is on fire. Keep coughing to get chunks of brick and mortar out of lungs but just feels like hot knives pushing on sides of my lungs. Mouth coated with plaster dust, leg throbbing in time with heart beat..
Later
It's day, but not sure which one. SO Harvey came to house this afternoon with First Aid personnel. We are as well as can be expected. Perkins doesn't want her mother contacted. I can't see the point of telling poor Auntie in Somerset. What could she do? Hope Mummy and Daddy can't see me now.
Later
Why can’t I remember? I should. I was there, wasn’t I? Harvey said we were caught in blast of monster landmine that came floating down on the end of a parachute. Happened between Cambridge and Alderney, near Charlwood. Perkins was thrown a short distance and pinned against box of DXP. I was blown 200 feet from ambulance and landed in someone's front garden. Cummings saw whole thing. Thought I'd bought it. She held on to a tree through blast and when it was over came running to find me. Said I was talking a load of old gibberish. Perkins says that all the time!
Dr. Henry Adams sent me off to Westminster Hospital but can’t remember much. Only smell of disinfectant and someone screaming. Pickering took me in the sitting car. Everything jumbled.
Friday 18th October
Twenty three dead in Alderney incident, but not me. Why? More than a hundred casualties. Terrible terrible injuries: dismemberment, burns from head to toe, objects through the chest, a real blood bath. I was one of them, but a lucky one. Can’t think why? I don’t deserve it. I’m a moaner.
Didn't know Jerry attached bombs to parachutes. Does he have any idea what these monsters do to people?
Monday 14th Dolphin
My punishment for talking back to Mustard Gas is one day docked pay. At £1.18.9d a week, it shouldn't be too painful. Must also write letter to Mustard Gas apologising for disruption. He thinks my attitude poses a danger to Civil Defence and the whole of London. Harvey doesn't think Regional Headquarters took his complaint seriously, but she says they had to do something to make Mustard Gas happy. I can work a day with no pay or stay home. My choice. I think I’ll work to spite him.
Tuesday 15 Oct, Denbigh
Jerries raiding outside. We’re sitting in our mattress house. It’s full moon tonight so we’re easy targets. You can smell in the air, even the mattress house in the cellar. Noise is constant. Seems to be getting louder and closer.
I’d rather be out in the middle of it than in here in the dark in this stupid mattress house. If I can see it, then I can move out of the way. In here you’re just a sitting duck, hiding like a coward.
I’m getting better at picking out the sounds: the drones of incoming Jerries, the bang-bang-bang of ack ack fire, swishing and swooshing of incoming bombs, the deep bone-rattling booms of explosions and dead thud when they don't, the ting-ting-ting of flying shrapnel and glass, the crackle of fires, clanging of fire brigades, the hiss of spraying water, the squeal of a burnt child or moan of a burning wall just before it collapses. When you’re outside, everything is sharper and you can see. In here it’s dull.
Later
Candle’s flickering. Hard to see. Perkins won’t let us light another. Says it’s a waste. She’s over there now knitting and putting on her little show like Himself says. You have to be brave and show Jerry that we can’t be broken. That’s Perkins. Can’t break her. She’s made of stone.
Later
Had terrible row with Perkins. Night full of Blitz. Bombs swooshing down and exploding so close you can feel the walls wobble. Thought I could hear something in the house. Crying. Checked every room but couldn't find anything. Perkins said I was being silly. But I could hear it. Crying, like a child’s. Perkins says it’s because I go back to the bombsites to see the damage when I should just forget everything. I can’t forget. Perkins says you have to. But I’m not going to forget because I’m going to tell people about this when it’s over. Maybe even before. I want people to know the sound of little children cries. Perkins wouldn’t hear it and said I should button up. Loose lips sink ships.
Later
The bombs coming closer, getting louder, whole house shaking. Saw candlelit fear on Perkin's face.
Later
Now she’s singing that wretched Roll out the bleedin’ Barrel. Top of her lungs. Trying to drown out Jerry with Roll out the Barrel. And she won’t stop. I want to pull tear out my hair. Or her’s. I told her to button up but she just went on singing: We'll have a barrel of fun. Ho Ho Ho! Isn’t it fun. Maybe we’ll take a direct hit and have a real barrel of fun.
Later
Whole house wrenched. That one too close. Someone's world is crushed. Perkins still singing. Still hear cries in house. Getting louder. Make it stop. Make Perkins stop. Make Jerries stop. Make little cries stop.
Later
Put my hand over Perkins’ mouth to make her stop. She bit it. I shouted, telling her to stop lying. We're not having a barrel of fun! We’re scared and exhausted, sick with worry and no amount of silly singing will change that!
Perkins says I’m as bad as Jerry, an enemy of Britain. If we lost the war she will hold me responsible because I'm a moaner and moaners sink spirits and if spirits sink, London sinks.
Not talking to P now.
?????
Don’t know the day. Can’t think of where I am right now.
Bells ringing in my ears. Big clangers. They get louder… closer.. then they fade. Throat is raw with grit. I can taste bitter cordite in my nose and in windpipe. When I blow nose brick dust comes out of my nose. My hand has a terrible shake. My handwriting is different. Must write so I don't forget.
Later
Right leg throbbing just above the knee. Head itchy on one side. Head isn't behaving properly. Where am I?
Later…
What day is it? Desperate for sleep. Perkins always sleeps. Not me.
Later
Woke in a sweat, shaking. Wanted to scream but kept seeing Perkins’ face. You can only sing. You can’t scream. Severed fingers and children with scalps burnt off, their parents in agony. Burnt flesh. You can smell it. But we sing, we don’t scream. This is Blitzkrieg.
???
Perkins' face sprayed with splinters and burning ash. Her back is bruised, but she'll be fine. Hope her face heals. So pretty.
Later
Tonne of dust went down my throat. Have big gash on my head, just above the ear. Henry Adams said helmet saved me. After it happened they took me to Dolphin First Aid afterwards. Everything fuzzy, bits missing, but lights were so very bright. Hurt my eyes and what was that echo in the room? Henry's voice. Damned lucky girl, it kept saying. Damned lucky. My lungs should have burst.
Later..
Head feels like a load of fighting drunks at pub closing.
Later…
Don't know time. It's dark and I'm on the bed with my leg bandaged up. Head is itchy, bottom numb. They said I landed in a patch of grass. Thank God the grass wasn't on fire!
Later
My chest is on fire. Keep coughing to get chunks of brick and mortar out of lungs but just feels like hot knives pushing on sides of my lungs. Mouth coated with plaster dust, leg throbbing in time with heart beat..
Later
It's day, but not sure which one. SO Harvey came to house this afternoon with First Aid personnel. We are as well as can be expected. Perkins doesn't want her mother contacted. I can't see the point of telling poor Auntie in Somerset. What could she do? Hope Mummy and Daddy can't see me now.
Later
Why can’t I remember? I should. I was there, wasn’t I? Harvey said we were caught in blast of monster landmine that came floating down on the end of a parachute. Happened between Cambridge and Alderney, near Charlwood. Perkins was thrown a short distance and pinned against box of DXP. I was blown 200 feet from ambulance and landed in someone's front garden. Cummings saw whole thing. Thought I'd bought it. She held on to a tree through blast and when it was over came running to find me. Said I was talking a load of old gibberish. Perkins says that all the time!
Dr. Henry Adams sent me off to Westminster Hospital but can’t remember much. Only smell of disinfectant and someone screaming. Pickering took me in the sitting car. Everything jumbled.
Friday 18th October
Twenty three dead in Alderney incident, but not me. Why? More than a hundred casualties. Terrible terrible injuries: dismemberment, burns from head to toe, objects through the chest, a real blood bath. I was one of them, but a lucky one. Can’t think why? I don’t deserve it. I’m a moaner.
Didn't know Jerry attached bombs to parachutes. Does he have any idea what these monsters do to people?
Sunday, November 26, 2006
They danced through the bombs
Wednesday Oct 9th , 1940
Dolphin
Still shaking after Charing Cross incident yesterday. Almost bought it. Shouldn't be alive. Bomb crashed through glass dome on District Line platform and fell on line one minute after a train full of office workers pulled away, sixty seconds before and they'd all be dead. Noise terrifying. Blast travelled up the platform and whacked the other side of platform. That spared me. Why?
Memory not working right. Ended up on ground but can’t think if blast threw me there or if I went on my own. Blood everywhere, splattered on the floor and walls and people’s faces. So much confusion with everyone running about and screaming, not knowing where to go, what to do. And the apples? Couldn’t think why big red apples were rolling though blood and debris.
Got out of there, but don’t ask how. Can’t remember. Terrific mess on top with smoke and fire brigades clanking and people stumbling about and crying. Wanted to find other side of platform to help with rescue but my head was spinning and couldn’t see which way to go. Everything in the wrong place. Saw walking wounded coming up with bloodied blank faces, looking around like bone stupid fools wondering which way to go. Head felt light. Sat down and saw blood mixed in with dirt on my arm. Clothes covered in dust and dirt. Man came over and asked if I was OK. I snapped at him and said of course, I’m an ambulance girl. Man gave me a queer look. I must have been a sight.
Don’t know how long I stayed. Wasn’t much use just sitting there like big lump but couldn’t move. Just watched it through the smoke and racket. Couldn't make any sense of it. Should've been helping but couldn't. Just sat there.
Saw LAAS girls from Station 34 taking wounded on stretchers. Good carrying technique. Good table tennis players too, I hear.
They were still bringing up stretchers when I got up and started walking. Didn't know where I was going, just walked until I found a tube station. Felt much better inside. No debris or broken glass. Everything was like before. Normal. Found my way back to Denbigh and cleaned out big gash in arm and put bandage on. Told Perkins it was motor maintenance injury. She didn’t ask any more.
Thursday 10th, 1940 Dolphin
Stripped DXP today! Hutch knows engines. Trick is this: keep track of nuts and bolts so you can get the thing back together again. Heavy Rescue boys came down to garage and found us under bonnet of DXP. Said we'd never get the motor started again. Hutch whispered to keep quiet. She wanted to enjoy this. When we finished, she gave me the keys and the thing turned over on the first go. Rankin and Miller applauded but the rest stomped off. Hutch shouted after them that she can strip an engine and put it back together faster than any of them. That’s her FANY training talking.
Later…
Hutch has tickets for Billy Cotton and his Orchestra at Paramount Dance Hall on Saturday and has invited me to go!
Friday 11th
Dolphin
Beat LCC regulars in table tennis. Pickering brilliant partner, spot on every shot. LCC regs. v. good. They worked Charing X incident. Word is eight or nine killed, fifty injured. Regs aren't meant to discuss and you never read details in papers. Didn't mention I was there.
Saturday 12th '40
Chelsea
In Hutch's lounge now with Billy Cotton music swirling in head. Everyone sleeping, but I can't. My head is thick with gin and Hutch's father's posh cognac. Drank two bottles when we got back. I’m drunk and this is a scrawl. What would Perkins think? Me drunk!
Later
Bombs going off in head now. No bombs outside, just in head.
Later
See blue in sky. Can’t sleep. Why? Isn’t sleep easy for drunks? Maybe for everyone else. Hutch and FANYs went to bed ages ago. Miller was out before he sat down in the chair. And Rankin’s over there snoring like an old farm tractor. Said he left his wife and children home tonight. They think he’s on duty. Hope they didn't have raid tonight.
Later
So, I should write down as much as I can about Billy Cotton so I’ll remember it always. You had to see this dance floor at the Paramount. Huge and packed with smart uniforms and pretty gowns sitting at tables around the edges. Hutch ordered gin and tonics one after another and we drank them straight down. Hutch thinks you need at least three to get up and dance. I never needed three to get up with Leonard the Limp in the Village Hall in Somerset. Polio knocked all the rhythm out of poor Leonard but he had fun. Hutch says to forget Somerset. The Paramount isn't Somerset.
Place dirty with uniforms, mostly RAF but also Holland, Poland, Canada. Plenty of girls, Wrens, ATS, WAAF, VAD nurses and a table of American Ambulance girls. Wish LAAS had uniforms.
Hutch’s shot over to FANY friends as soon as they walked through the door. The FANYs so glamorous. Hutch so over the moon to see them that she kissed one girl right on the lips for a very long time. Must be new fashion in London, girls kissing girls on lips. They don’t do that Somerset.
FANY girls used to drive ambulances but with more LAAS stations open, more FANYs going to special unit to work as as coders and wireless operators. Didn’t talk much about work though, and no one said why Hutch was dismissed, but you could see she was dearly missed.
Crowd when absolutely mad and crowded on floor when Billy Cotton came to the stage and started with Somebody Stole My Gal. He played straight through sirens, ack ack fire and bombs outside and everyone danced right along with him. Jerry could go to hell as far as we were concerned. We were having fun and if he got us, he'd get us having a good time!
Rankin and Miller were drunk when they arrived and both wanted to dance. Miller useless but Rankin could some foxtrot. Kept me on the floor with him most of the night and when a song ended Hutch came running over with more gin. I drank as much as I could before Rankin grabbed it from my hand and finished it. Rankin thinks dancing's the only way to get through bloody Blitz and says everyone in London should be made to go out and dance at least once a week.
Didn’t want Billy to go at the end. No one did. People stayed on the floor and shouted for him to come back until lights came on in hall. ARPs chased us out.
Dolphin
Still shaking after Charing Cross incident yesterday. Almost bought it. Shouldn't be alive. Bomb crashed through glass dome on District Line platform and fell on line one minute after a train full of office workers pulled away, sixty seconds before and they'd all be dead. Noise terrifying. Blast travelled up the platform and whacked the other side of platform. That spared me. Why?
Memory not working right. Ended up on ground but can’t think if blast threw me there or if I went on my own. Blood everywhere, splattered on the floor and walls and people’s faces. So much confusion with everyone running about and screaming, not knowing where to go, what to do. And the apples? Couldn’t think why big red apples were rolling though blood and debris.
Got out of there, but don’t ask how. Can’t remember. Terrific mess on top with smoke and fire brigades clanking and people stumbling about and crying. Wanted to find other side of platform to help with rescue but my head was spinning and couldn’t see which way to go. Everything in the wrong place. Saw walking wounded coming up with bloodied blank faces, looking around like bone stupid fools wondering which way to go. Head felt light. Sat down and saw blood mixed in with dirt on my arm. Clothes covered in dust and dirt. Man came over and asked if I was OK. I snapped at him and said of course, I’m an ambulance girl. Man gave me a queer look. I must have been a sight.
Don’t know how long I stayed. Wasn’t much use just sitting there like big lump but couldn’t move. Just watched it through the smoke and racket. Couldn't make any sense of it. Should've been helping but couldn't. Just sat there.
Saw LAAS girls from Station 34 taking wounded on stretchers. Good carrying technique. Good table tennis players too, I hear.
They were still bringing up stretchers when I got up and started walking. Didn't know where I was going, just walked until I found a tube station. Felt much better inside. No debris or broken glass. Everything was like before. Normal. Found my way back to Denbigh and cleaned out big gash in arm and put bandage on. Told Perkins it was motor maintenance injury. She didn’t ask any more.
Thursday 10th, 1940 Dolphin
Stripped DXP today! Hutch knows engines. Trick is this: keep track of nuts and bolts so you can get the thing back together again. Heavy Rescue boys came down to garage and found us under bonnet of DXP. Said we'd never get the motor started again. Hutch whispered to keep quiet. She wanted to enjoy this. When we finished, she gave me the keys and the thing turned over on the first go. Rankin and Miller applauded but the rest stomped off. Hutch shouted after them that she can strip an engine and put it back together faster than any of them. That’s her FANY training talking.
Later…
Hutch has tickets for Billy Cotton and his Orchestra at Paramount Dance Hall on Saturday and has invited me to go!
Friday 11th
Dolphin
Beat LCC regulars in table tennis. Pickering brilliant partner, spot on every shot. LCC regs. v. good. They worked Charing X incident. Word is eight or nine killed, fifty injured. Regs aren't meant to discuss and you never read details in papers. Didn't mention I was there.
Saturday 12th '40
Chelsea
In Hutch's lounge now with Billy Cotton music swirling in head. Everyone sleeping, but I can't. My head is thick with gin and Hutch's father's posh cognac. Drank two bottles when we got back. I’m drunk and this is a scrawl. What would Perkins think? Me drunk!
Later
Bombs going off in head now. No bombs outside, just in head.
Later
See blue in sky. Can’t sleep. Why? Isn’t sleep easy for drunks? Maybe for everyone else. Hutch and FANYs went to bed ages ago. Miller was out before he sat down in the chair. And Rankin’s over there snoring like an old farm tractor. Said he left his wife and children home tonight. They think he’s on duty. Hope they didn't have raid tonight.
Later
So, I should write down as much as I can about Billy Cotton so I’ll remember it always. You had to see this dance floor at the Paramount. Huge and packed with smart uniforms and pretty gowns sitting at tables around the edges. Hutch ordered gin and tonics one after another and we drank them straight down. Hutch thinks you need at least three to get up and dance. I never needed three to get up with Leonard the Limp in the Village Hall in Somerset. Polio knocked all the rhythm out of poor Leonard but he had fun. Hutch says to forget Somerset. The Paramount isn't Somerset.
Place dirty with uniforms, mostly RAF but also Holland, Poland, Canada. Plenty of girls, Wrens, ATS, WAAF, VAD nurses and a table of American Ambulance girls. Wish LAAS had uniforms.
Hutch’s shot over to FANY friends as soon as they walked through the door. The FANYs so glamorous. Hutch so over the moon to see them that she kissed one girl right on the lips for a very long time. Must be new fashion in London, girls kissing girls on lips. They don’t do that Somerset.
FANY girls used to drive ambulances but with more LAAS stations open, more FANYs going to special unit to work as as coders and wireless operators. Didn’t talk much about work though, and no one said why Hutch was dismissed, but you could see she was dearly missed.
Crowd when absolutely mad and crowded on floor when Billy Cotton came to the stage and started with Somebody Stole My Gal. He played straight through sirens, ack ack fire and bombs outside and everyone danced right along with him. Jerry could go to hell as far as we were concerned. We were having fun and if he got us, he'd get us having a good time!
Rankin and Miller were drunk when they arrived and both wanted to dance. Miller useless but Rankin could some foxtrot. Kept me on the floor with him most of the night and when a song ended Hutch came running over with more gin. I drank as much as I could before Rankin grabbed it from my hand and finished it. Rankin thinks dancing's the only way to get through bloody Blitz and says everyone in London should be made to go out and dance at least once a week.
Didn’t want Billy to go at the end. No one did. People stayed on the floor and shouted for him to come back until lights came on in hall. ARPs chased us out.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Ack ack fire frays nerves
October 1940
Tuesday 1st
Denbigh Place
In basement now. Raid overhead. Not so bad. Bombs in distance but ack ack fire overhead. Ack acks fire fills Perkins with fighting spirit. Sharp bang bang banging fills me with headache. If they brought down more Jerries, I might tolerate noise.
Perkins brought mattresses down and made Morrison shelter out of the table. Put Cleerol anti-shatter laquer on windows and made small First Aid kit with Burnol, zinc oxide adhesive plaster, cotton wool and wound dressing just in case. We have two hurricane lamps and plenty of emergency candles. It's cosy but it can be suffocating, especially when the bombs are close.
Wednesday 2nd. '40 Dolphin Square
Cummings taken to hospital last night with a cracked rib after an AFS hose pipe broke free, wriggled across street and whacked C. across the back, knocking her over. Doctors said fall caused fracture, not hose pipe. Must have been a new fire auxiliary who let go. Everyone was out of the building and there were no casualties when it happened. Heavey rescue had just given all-clear. Luckily, water pressure was low, otherwise C. would have had more than a broken a rib.
More black out motor crashes lately. No serious injuries but plenty of wrecked motor cars.
Thursday 3rd, 1940
Denbigh Place
Heard lone Jerry swoop down over Denbigh Place last night. Dashed out with my stirrup pump and found strangest sight. The whole street was blacked out except for a straight line of fires that ran right down the middle. Incendiary bombs. Looked a candlelit table awaiting guests. For a minute it was beautiful, until I snapped out of trance and ran over with stirrup pump putting out fires.
That's when I noticed fire on roof of Great War man's house. Banged on his door and asked where the ladder and broom. Didn't say why. Didn't want to frighten him any more. I scrambled up and beat out the fire out with the broom. It wasn't bad. No damage that I could see.
It was all too much for Great War Man. When I climbed down, people were crowded round the front step trying to bring him round. He'd fainted. Must have thought he'd met his maker. The ARP warden called LAAS ambulance. I timed them. Four minutes later Hatfield and Parker arrived from Dolphin depot. Great War man conscious by then, but rambling on about Mustard Gas. They loaded him into the back of ambulance and took him to Dolphin First Aid. V calm and professional, were Hatfield and Parker. I was v. proud to be Dolphin ambulance girl.
Friday 4th, 1940
Chelsea
Hutch's house a dream! Rooms are huge with high ceilings and grand glass chandeliers that make Mrs. P's Nervous Nellie look pathetic. Lovely Georgian windows boarded up now, but Hutch says they let in exquisite light. The rooms are filled with art and tapestries collected from all over world. Brass urns and candelabra are dull now but Hutch says a good polish makes them sparkle. Who has time to polish silver in middle of Blitz?
Old family painting in the entrance hall shows with Victorian grandparents sitting like king and queen thrones and four small children around them. Hutch says baby is her father. Behind are three Indian servants. Everyone is scowling. Were Victorians as miserable as they looked? Hutch's father was born in India. Mother brought him to England when he was twenty to marry him off. He stayed against his parent's wishes.
Hutch showed me her clothes: six wardrobes packed solid with beautiful ball gowns she wore in her deb days. Most out-of-date now and Hutch says no self-respecting deb would be caught dead in them. Tried a few things and when I looked in the mirror I saw a West Country ambulance girl transformed into a London debutante in her best finery, all shimmering and beautiful. Hutch says you don't need beauty or intelligence to be deb, just a family with money. We laughed and drank more of Hutch's father's gin.
Saturday 5th, 1940
Dolphin
Civil Defence is looking for volunteers to be in Cinderella panto in January. It's open to rescue parties, First Aiders, stretcher bearers, auxiliary ambulance and fire brigade personnel, wardens and all other CD workers. All silent heroes, sign said. Is that what we are? Silent heros?
Sent off a note asking for information.
Pickering and I listened to Tommy Handley doing It's that Man Again on Beeb while we played ping pong this aft. Had to stop to laugh a few times. Wireless accumulator running low. Must take out for charging.
Sunday 6th, '40
Denbigh
Weather awful. Wind and rain. Dreary. Makes dirt seem dirtier, and washes away the little colour left these days in London. Everything is covered in blanket of plaster dust, even the leaves on the trees. And the birds! Soon, they will be gone. Then things will be bleak.
No sleep last night. Blitz kept waking me. Sometimes the sleep is worse than blitz with terrible dreams about Nazis stomping up and down Denbigh Place with black jack boots, waving shells of mustard gas, shouting in German. Woke to moaning minnies wailing with more raiders on way and the bloody ack ack fire. Ack ack fire is bloody nuisance. Why can't they turn them off???
Monday 7th, 1940
Had trouble today with Mustard Gas Man. Asked why we're spending so much time on anti-gas precautions when we haven't had an attack. If Hitler had mustard gas, wouldn't he have dropped it by now? Shouldn't we be spending time and money on shelters and housing for East End?
Knew I shouldn't have said it right away. Saw the veins puffing up at his temples and his face was turn red. Whole room fell silent as he fixed his red-rimmed eyes on me and waved me to the front. He rolled up a sleeve and showed us a forearm covered with a ghastly scar of pink skin. It was shiny and folded over on itself, healed, but oddly creased. His voice was cold, and dead calm when he spoke. "This is what happens to people who don't know what they are doing in a gas attack. As Civil Defence workers, you and everyone in this room will be expected to know how to treat these injuries. It is not for you, my girl, or anyone else to decide the contents of those shells as they're falling from the sky. Now sit down, listen up and be grateful you are here today." When he finished, he was shaking. I will hear more of this.
Tuesday 8th, 1040
Called in to see SO Harvey. She was in one of her official moods. Apparently, Mustard Gas Man sent furious report to Regional HQ about me. Harvey says he knows people in LCC and Civil Defence and wants something done, punishment. Harvey said I was silly to ask such questions and should have known better. She got cross with me when I asked her opinion of anti-gas precautions and said I should learn to button up.
Later
Shaftesbury Fire Station took direct hit and was demolished, killing two. Firemen and auxiliaries were badly injured.
Tuesday 1st
Denbigh Place
In basement now. Raid overhead. Not so bad. Bombs in distance but ack ack fire overhead. Ack acks fire fills Perkins with fighting spirit. Sharp bang bang banging fills me with headache. If they brought down more Jerries, I might tolerate noise.
Perkins brought mattresses down and made Morrison shelter out of the table. Put Cleerol anti-shatter laquer on windows and made small First Aid kit with Burnol, zinc oxide adhesive plaster, cotton wool and wound dressing just in case. We have two hurricane lamps and plenty of emergency candles. It's cosy but it can be suffocating, especially when the bombs are close.
Wednesday 2nd. '40 Dolphin Square
Cummings taken to hospital last night with a cracked rib after an AFS hose pipe broke free, wriggled across street and whacked C. across the back, knocking her over. Doctors said fall caused fracture, not hose pipe. Must have been a new fire auxiliary who let go. Everyone was out of the building and there were no casualties when it happened. Heavey rescue had just given all-clear. Luckily, water pressure was low, otherwise C. would have had more than a broken a rib.
More black out motor crashes lately. No serious injuries but plenty of wrecked motor cars.
Thursday 3rd, 1940
Denbigh Place
Heard lone Jerry swoop down over Denbigh Place last night. Dashed out with my stirrup pump and found strangest sight. The whole street was blacked out except for a straight line of fires that ran right down the middle. Incendiary bombs. Looked a candlelit table awaiting guests. For a minute it was beautiful, until I snapped out of trance and ran over with stirrup pump putting out fires.
That's when I noticed fire on roof of Great War man's house. Banged on his door and asked where the ladder and broom. Didn't say why. Didn't want to frighten him any more. I scrambled up and beat out the fire out with the broom. It wasn't bad. No damage that I could see.
It was all too much for Great War Man. When I climbed down, people were crowded round the front step trying to bring him round. He'd fainted. Must have thought he'd met his maker. The ARP warden called LAAS ambulance. I timed them. Four minutes later Hatfield and Parker arrived from Dolphin depot. Great War man conscious by then, but rambling on about Mustard Gas. They loaded him into the back of ambulance and took him to Dolphin First Aid. V calm and professional, were Hatfield and Parker. I was v. proud to be Dolphin ambulance girl.
Friday 4th, 1940
Chelsea
Hutch's house a dream! Rooms are huge with high ceilings and grand glass chandeliers that make Mrs. P's Nervous Nellie look pathetic. Lovely Georgian windows boarded up now, but Hutch says they let in exquisite light. The rooms are filled with art and tapestries collected from all over world. Brass urns and candelabra are dull now but Hutch says a good polish makes them sparkle. Who has time to polish silver in middle of Blitz?
Old family painting in the entrance hall shows with Victorian grandparents sitting like king and queen thrones and four small children around them. Hutch says baby is her father. Behind are three Indian servants. Everyone is scowling. Were Victorians as miserable as they looked? Hutch's father was born in India. Mother brought him to England when he was twenty to marry him off. He stayed against his parent's wishes.
Hutch showed me her clothes: six wardrobes packed solid with beautiful ball gowns she wore in her deb days. Most out-of-date now and Hutch says no self-respecting deb would be caught dead in them. Tried a few things and when I looked in the mirror I saw a West Country ambulance girl transformed into a London debutante in her best finery, all shimmering and beautiful. Hutch says you don't need beauty or intelligence to be deb, just a family with money. We laughed and drank more of Hutch's father's gin.
Saturday 5th, 1940
Dolphin
Civil Defence is looking for volunteers to be in Cinderella panto in January. It's open to rescue parties, First Aiders, stretcher bearers, auxiliary ambulance and fire brigade personnel, wardens and all other CD workers. All silent heroes, sign said. Is that what we are? Silent heros?
Sent off a note asking for information.
Pickering and I listened to Tommy Handley doing It's that Man Again on Beeb while we played ping pong this aft. Had to stop to laugh a few times. Wireless accumulator running low. Must take out for charging.
Sunday 6th, '40
Denbigh
Weather awful. Wind and rain. Dreary. Makes dirt seem dirtier, and washes away the little colour left these days in London. Everything is covered in blanket of plaster dust, even the leaves on the trees. And the birds! Soon, they will be gone. Then things will be bleak.
No sleep last night. Blitz kept waking me. Sometimes the sleep is worse than blitz with terrible dreams about Nazis stomping up and down Denbigh Place with black jack boots, waving shells of mustard gas, shouting in German. Woke to moaning minnies wailing with more raiders on way and the bloody ack ack fire. Ack ack fire is bloody nuisance. Why can't they turn them off???
Monday 7th, 1940
Had trouble today with Mustard Gas Man. Asked why we're spending so much time on anti-gas precautions when we haven't had an attack. If Hitler had mustard gas, wouldn't he have dropped it by now? Shouldn't we be spending time and money on shelters and housing for East End?
Knew I shouldn't have said it right away. Saw the veins puffing up at his temples and his face was turn red. Whole room fell silent as he fixed his red-rimmed eyes on me and waved me to the front. He rolled up a sleeve and showed us a forearm covered with a ghastly scar of pink skin. It was shiny and folded over on itself, healed, but oddly creased. His voice was cold, and dead calm when he spoke. "This is what happens to people who don't know what they are doing in a gas attack. As Civil Defence workers, you and everyone in this room will be expected to know how to treat these injuries. It is not for you, my girl, or anyone else to decide the contents of those shells as they're falling from the sky. Now sit down, listen up and be grateful you are here today." When he finished, he was shaking. I will hear more of this.
Tuesday 8th, 1040
Called in to see SO Harvey. She was in one of her official moods. Apparently, Mustard Gas Man sent furious report to Regional HQ about me. Harvey says he knows people in LCC and Civil Defence and wants something done, punishment. Harvey said I was silly to ask such questions and should have known better. She got cross with me when I asked her opinion of anti-gas precautions and said I should learn to button up.
Later
Shaftesbury Fire Station took direct hit and was demolished, killing two. Firemen and auxiliaries were badly injured.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Blitzkrieg!
September 1940
Sunday 1st, '40
Dolphin depot
Perkins and Mrs. P "invited" me to church again this morning. Every Sunday I say no thank you and explain I'm not Catholic and they ask me again the following week. Can they not hear me? Perkins thinks I should go with them to make her mother happy because she doesn't like having a lodger who is C of E. I told Perkins to tell her mother to get herself a proper Catholic lodger because I'm not going to mass with them!
Monday 2nd , 1940
Dolphin
Sailed through driving test this morning without spilling a drop out of water bucket in back. Felt like celebrating until DSO Merchant hauled me into her office after LCC instructor stomped out saying Perkins should not have been put up for testing. Apparently, she drove the purpose-built Talbot right off the road. Merchant says it's my fault because I didn't report Perkins' driving record. Perkins sat in the chair beside me and didn't offer a word of support during the whole telling off. I was only trying to keep her out of trouble. Now I'm the one who catches it. Some friend!
Tuesday, 3rd, '40 Dolphin Square
Spent the day ferrying military officers to meetings in Dolphin motor car. Took a very important RAF man and his secretary to Downing Street for meeting with Himself, I presume. They worked away in the back and spoke in low voices. Had v serious faces. I kept glancing through the mirror wondering if they were discussing Blitzkrieg. Perhaps they were preparing a brief for Himself. Perhaps there's an invasion on the way. I'm not cleared to drive to No. 10 so we stopped at the top of Downing St. I opened the door for the RAF man and he smile and thanked me. Felt important for rest of day.
.
Wednesday 4th, '40 Denbigh
Good news! Mrs. P plans to leave for in Welsh Valleys to stay with Cousin Doris for two weeks so Perkins and I will have the run of the house. Perkins is quite pleased but doesn't admit it. Life will be a dream without Mrs. P.
Thursday 5, 1940, Dolphin Square
Spent morning with head under bonnet of DXP learning way round engine. DXP is our issue ambulance until further notice. LCC man showed us how to top up battery with distilled water, pump up tyres to correct pressure and tighten wheel nuts. Hutch wanted to know why we weren't stripping engines like FANYs. LCC man said we should leave that to people who know what they're doing, to which Hutch replied, "And what would you suggest if you're in the middle of an air raid with a casualty and there are no people who know what they're doing?" LCC man didn't like this and changed subject. Hutch offered to teach us herself. Said it's easy.
Friday 6, '40
Dolphin Square
Perkins has a chap! His name is Henry Adams and he's a medical student at Westminster Hospital. He's been posted to Dolphin First Aid for emergency service. Seems a decent fellow - nice looking with good manners. Comes from a good family. Father's a doctor. Perkins doesn't call him her sweetheart but he must be, otherwise she wouldn't go out of her way to introduce us. He's classified medical and isn't in military service. Perkins was sure to say he wasn't one of those "bloody parasite conchies" Those were her exact words! I had no idea she talked that way about COs. She knows Pickering is one but says it's wrong even if he is a Quaker. I said they aren't supposed to fight because they're pacifists but Perkins thinks he should be called up like all the other boys.
Sept 7th Denbigh, '40
It's "Blisskrieg" with Mrs. P gone. Denbigh Pl House seems so big and airy. You don't have the feeling someone's trying to convert you. At this moment I'm in the back garden on the deck chair with a G n T in my hand enjoying the Indian summer. It's more like July than September. Spent morning cleaning house with Perkins after instructions arrived in post from the Welsh Valleys. When we were finished it got my camera out and had man across street take a picture of Perkins and me on step. Didn't mention Pickering to her. Hope it will blow over.
Perkins is in love with Henry, and things are moving quickly but there's one problem. He's C of E and Perkins doesn't think this will go down with her mother. Hasn't breathed a word of it so far. Doesn't know if he would consider converting - hasn't had nerve to ask. I told her to stop worrying and enjoy his company.
Later
It's arrived! Blitzkrieg is here outside, now. Docks burning, great mountains of smoke pouring into sky. Jerries buzzing overhead. It's here!
Later
Outside people are standing Denbigh, staring up at sky in the east. All the fire makes it look like like sunrise in the east but real sun is setting in the west at same time. Great plumes of orange and red smoke casting queer light over London. London seems small tonight.
Later
It stops and starts. Raiders come in waves. It's been going for hours. Air air is thick with smoke now. An enormous orange halo sits over docks and air smells of wax and timber and something sweet. No mustard seed though, not yet.
Later
We're in the cellar now listening to the sounds. Seem to be coming from all directions at once: whistles, drones, sharp claps and thundering howls. You can hear that ghastly chandelier of Mrs. P's upstairs jingling.
Perkins is calm. She's sitting in her chair with hands folded on her lap. Hasn't spoken a word since it began. She's like a doll, frozen to her chair. Wouldn't dare be afraid. That's not allowed.
I can't stop pacing or talking. Perkins doesn't hear a word.
Later
Electricity knocked out no. We have candles thanks to Perkins who had emergency supplies ready. She has stack of them but will only use two at a time. You must conserve. Light is dim - makes noise louder. My writing turning to hen's scratch. Can barely see the words coming out of pen.
Later…
Went out and saw Nazi planes flying over Thames. Look like dark shadows that glide in and out smoke. They drop bombs and disappear into more smoke. The air over the docks almost beautiful now with rich pinks and oranges flickering through the smoke.
Later
Terrible crashes getting closer. Must be midnight. Are they ever going to stop? I'm sure they're over Westminster now. Keep thinking of Shift A on Dolphin duty tonight. Wouldn't you know it? I've been waiting for months for Blitzkrieg and when it gets here, I'm stuck at home! Air's hot and sticky, and what is the sweet smell. Perfume?
Sunday 8th, 1940 Dolphin Square
Dolphin was heaving today. DXP went out in raids last night. Worked a song, according to Hartling and Cummings. They were called terrible incident in Victoria -made three runs to Westminster Hospital. Had everything - burns, broken bones, head trauma and abdominal injuries. Mortuary vans took away corpses. I've never seen a corpse. No one knows how many dead. Cummings said bombs hit after pub closings and people on pavements were crushed in falling debris.
Later
Did topography run to check hospital routes for new detours. Found a barricade set up at Victoria. Saw a long smoking trench in the middle of road. My first bombsite! I had to see more so I left Perkins in DXP and got my camera. Air was strong and acrid - tasted like burnt plaster. Everything covered in white plaster dust. Broken glass glistened in sun. A dozen or so engineers worked in trench, crawling through London clay, sorting through tangled mess of cables, twisted wires, broken pipes. I snapped some pictures, then walked up the road and took more of damaged buildings. Smoke still rising from of hole in roof of Victoria Station. That's when the warden snatched camera right out of my hand! So shocked that all I could do was watch as he ripped film right out of camera. My camera! Warden said it was illegal. What was illegal I asked? He said you aren't allowe to snap pictures of damage and before I could ask him to give my film back he ran off. Since when is it illegal to take a snap? No one told me! I'll report him.
Monday 9th, 1940 Stn 44
On Sussex St now, waiting on big evacuation. Air raid overhead -bombs dropping all over. Jerries zooming through smoke overhead. They're low. Too low. People took shelter in a vault and now it's flooding with water from broken main. Heavy Rescue thinks there's a UXB in wreckage. Gas mains are ruptured and burning in three or four places. So dangerous. Want to help but HR says we should to get residents out of neighbourhood.
Later
Took people to rest centre in Warwick Street school. Some told stories about trying to get shelter in vault when raid started. They were lucky ones. Some argued - didn't think there they were in danger. We had to force some out of their own houses. One old dear refused outright and had to be carried out in her armchair. She was shaking her pitchfork and threatening to use it on the first "Narzie" she spotted. God help that Narzie.
Later
Sussex St. shelterers were pulled out soaking, some close to drowning, but all alive. One of ours was a boy, six years old clinging to his dad. Couldn't get them apart so we carried both on one stretcher. They were cold and shaking. Perkins wrapped them in LAAS blankets and stayed with them on the way to hospital. The Heavy Rescue man told us the UXB was lodged in the wall of the vault right next to the boy. One wrong move…. Water was up to their necks by the time they were rescued. I didn't even get their names.
Tuesday 10th, 1940
Went back to Sussex St. Terrible scene, houses are now heaps of broken brick and smoking timber and there's a big gaping hole in the spot where the old dear with the pitchfork lived. Bomb exploded an hour after we left. Not sure if they detonated or if it went on its own. Where will old dear live, I wonder?
Later
Perkins thinks I'm filling my own head with misery from Sussex St. Thinks I won't be able to do my job if I carry pictures like that in my head.
Thursday 12th, 1940 Dolphin
In hateful mood today. Treated to a new torment last night - the non-stop bang bang bang of Ack Ack guns. Now we have Ack Acks, Moaning Minnies, crashing bombs, droning raiders, and clanging fire trucks. Night sky is alive with steams of green lights of Ack Ack fire snaking up through the darkness looking for a Jerry. Everyone cheered at first, happy to see us fighting back. Don't clap too soon, I say. When I see Ack Ack fire take Jerry planes out of sky then I'll give a cheer, but right now I wish they'd go away. We need to sleep or we'll end up raving lunatics and no one will be fit to fight.
Friday 13th, 1940 Dolphin Square
My unlucky day. Here are siren times for last night and today.
19:00- 6
7:35 - 8:30
9:45 - 14:00 .
They started again at 16 and are still going. It's 17:30. They are driving me mad!
Later
One of Pickering's Quakers bombed out of house and home in Stepney a few nights ago. Now desperate for a place to live. They were lucky. Family across street took a direct hit and all were killed. No Anderson shelters because there wasn't room in the back gardens. Why don't papers report this? And why are you telling us this, Mr. Wilfred Pickles on the BBC? Pickering is terribly upset.
I'm worried about Auntie down there by herself on the Somerset Levels. If the invasion comes from the south, she will be right in their path. I hope she isn't hearing these things. Must write and say we are holding up in London and tell her to get the pitchfork, just in case.
Saturday 14th, 1940 Dolphin Depot
Called to Queen Anne's Mansions last night for most serious incident yet. Big monster came sailing in. Cut the building in two, slicing through eleven storeys. Twelve ambulances responded but no casualties by some miracle! Residents were sheltering in corridors, not touched by the bomb. We ferried residents to rest centres. Demolition people think most would return to flats soon. Only twenty destroyed.
Took a couple of old dears to Dolphin First Aid and watched Henry Adams give them bandages. All they really needed was a nice cup of tea. Perkins made them two cups. She was so proud of Henry.
Moon's almost full again which means better light for blackout driving. And easy targets for Jerry.
Sunday 1st, '40
Dolphin depot
Perkins and Mrs. P "invited" me to church again this morning. Every Sunday I say no thank you and explain I'm not Catholic and they ask me again the following week. Can they not hear me? Perkins thinks I should go with them to make her mother happy because she doesn't like having a lodger who is C of E. I told Perkins to tell her mother to get herself a proper Catholic lodger because I'm not going to mass with them!
Monday 2nd , 1940
Dolphin
Sailed through driving test this morning without spilling a drop out of water bucket in back. Felt like celebrating until DSO Merchant hauled me into her office after LCC instructor stomped out saying Perkins should not have been put up for testing. Apparently, she drove the purpose-built Talbot right off the road. Merchant says it's my fault because I didn't report Perkins' driving record. Perkins sat in the chair beside me and didn't offer a word of support during the whole telling off. I was only trying to keep her out of trouble. Now I'm the one who catches it. Some friend!
Tuesday, 3rd, '40 Dolphin Square
Spent the day ferrying military officers to meetings in Dolphin motor car. Took a very important RAF man and his secretary to Downing Street for meeting with Himself, I presume. They worked away in the back and spoke in low voices. Had v serious faces. I kept glancing through the mirror wondering if they were discussing Blitzkrieg. Perhaps they were preparing a brief for Himself. Perhaps there's an invasion on the way. I'm not cleared to drive to No. 10 so we stopped at the top of Downing St. I opened the door for the RAF man and he smile and thanked me. Felt important for rest of day.
.
Wednesday 4th, '40 Denbigh
Good news! Mrs. P plans to leave for in Welsh Valleys to stay with Cousin Doris for two weeks so Perkins and I will have the run of the house. Perkins is quite pleased but doesn't admit it. Life will be a dream without Mrs. P.
Thursday 5, 1940, Dolphin Square
Spent morning with head under bonnet of DXP learning way round engine. DXP is our issue ambulance until further notice. LCC man showed us how to top up battery with distilled water, pump up tyres to correct pressure and tighten wheel nuts. Hutch wanted to know why we weren't stripping engines like FANYs. LCC man said we should leave that to people who know what they're doing, to which Hutch replied, "And what would you suggest if you're in the middle of an air raid with a casualty and there are no people who know what they're doing?" LCC man didn't like this and changed subject. Hutch offered to teach us herself. Said it's easy.
Friday 6, '40
Dolphin Square
Perkins has a chap! His name is Henry Adams and he's a medical student at Westminster Hospital. He's been posted to Dolphin First Aid for emergency service. Seems a decent fellow - nice looking with good manners. Comes from a good family. Father's a doctor. Perkins doesn't call him her sweetheart but he must be, otherwise she wouldn't go out of her way to introduce us. He's classified medical and isn't in military service. Perkins was sure to say he wasn't one of those "bloody parasite conchies" Those were her exact words! I had no idea she talked that way about COs. She knows Pickering is one but says it's wrong even if he is a Quaker. I said they aren't supposed to fight because they're pacifists but Perkins thinks he should be called up like all the other boys.
Sept 7th Denbigh, '40
It's "Blisskrieg" with Mrs. P gone. Denbigh Pl House seems so big and airy. You don't have the feeling someone's trying to convert you. At this moment I'm in the back garden on the deck chair with a G n T in my hand enjoying the Indian summer. It's more like July than September. Spent morning cleaning house with Perkins after instructions arrived in post from the Welsh Valleys. When we were finished it got my camera out and had man across street take a picture of Perkins and me on step. Didn't mention Pickering to her. Hope it will blow over.
Perkins is in love with Henry, and things are moving quickly but there's one problem. He's C of E and Perkins doesn't think this will go down with her mother. Hasn't breathed a word of it so far. Doesn't know if he would consider converting - hasn't had nerve to ask. I told her to stop worrying and enjoy his company.
Later
It's arrived! Blitzkrieg is here outside, now. Docks burning, great mountains of smoke pouring into sky. Jerries buzzing overhead. It's here!
Later
Outside people are standing Denbigh, staring up at sky in the east. All the fire makes it look like like sunrise in the east but real sun is setting in the west at same time. Great plumes of orange and red smoke casting queer light over London. London seems small tonight.
Later
It stops and starts. Raiders come in waves. It's been going for hours. Air air is thick with smoke now. An enormous orange halo sits over docks and air smells of wax and timber and something sweet. No mustard seed though, not yet.
Later
We're in the cellar now listening to the sounds. Seem to be coming from all directions at once: whistles, drones, sharp claps and thundering howls. You can hear that ghastly chandelier of Mrs. P's upstairs jingling.
Perkins is calm. She's sitting in her chair with hands folded on her lap. Hasn't spoken a word since it began. She's like a doll, frozen to her chair. Wouldn't dare be afraid. That's not allowed.
I can't stop pacing or talking. Perkins doesn't hear a word.
Later
Electricity knocked out no. We have candles thanks to Perkins who had emergency supplies ready. She has stack of them but will only use two at a time. You must conserve. Light is dim - makes noise louder. My writing turning to hen's scratch. Can barely see the words coming out of pen.
Later…
Went out and saw Nazi planes flying over Thames. Look like dark shadows that glide in and out smoke. They drop bombs and disappear into more smoke. The air over the docks almost beautiful now with rich pinks and oranges flickering through the smoke.
Later
Terrible crashes getting closer. Must be midnight. Are they ever going to stop? I'm sure they're over Westminster now. Keep thinking of Shift A on Dolphin duty tonight. Wouldn't you know it? I've been waiting for months for Blitzkrieg and when it gets here, I'm stuck at home! Air's hot and sticky, and what is the sweet smell. Perfume?
Sunday 8th, 1940 Dolphin Square
Dolphin was heaving today. DXP went out in raids last night. Worked a song, according to Hartling and Cummings. They were called terrible incident in Victoria -made three runs to Westminster Hospital. Had everything - burns, broken bones, head trauma and abdominal injuries. Mortuary vans took away corpses. I've never seen a corpse. No one knows how many dead. Cummings said bombs hit after pub closings and people on pavements were crushed in falling debris.
Later
Did topography run to check hospital routes for new detours. Found a barricade set up at Victoria. Saw a long smoking trench in the middle of road. My first bombsite! I had to see more so I left Perkins in DXP and got my camera. Air was strong and acrid - tasted like burnt plaster. Everything covered in white plaster dust. Broken glass glistened in sun. A dozen or so engineers worked in trench, crawling through London clay, sorting through tangled mess of cables, twisted wires, broken pipes. I snapped some pictures, then walked up the road and took more of damaged buildings. Smoke still rising from of hole in roof of Victoria Station. That's when the warden snatched camera right out of my hand! So shocked that all I could do was watch as he ripped film right out of camera. My camera! Warden said it was illegal. What was illegal I asked? He said you aren't allowe to snap pictures of damage and before I could ask him to give my film back he ran off. Since when is it illegal to take a snap? No one told me! I'll report him.
Monday 9th, 1940 Stn 44
On Sussex St now, waiting on big evacuation. Air raid overhead -bombs dropping all over. Jerries zooming through smoke overhead. They're low. Too low. People took shelter in a vault and now it's flooding with water from broken main. Heavy Rescue thinks there's a UXB in wreckage. Gas mains are ruptured and burning in three or four places. So dangerous. Want to help but HR says we should to get residents out of neighbourhood.
Later
Took people to rest centre in Warwick Street school. Some told stories about trying to get shelter in vault when raid started. They were lucky ones. Some argued - didn't think there they were in danger. We had to force some out of their own houses. One old dear refused outright and had to be carried out in her armchair. She was shaking her pitchfork and threatening to use it on the first "Narzie" she spotted. God help that Narzie.
Later
Sussex St. shelterers were pulled out soaking, some close to drowning, but all alive. One of ours was a boy, six years old clinging to his dad. Couldn't get them apart so we carried both on one stretcher. They were cold and shaking. Perkins wrapped them in LAAS blankets and stayed with them on the way to hospital. The Heavy Rescue man told us the UXB was lodged in the wall of the vault right next to the boy. One wrong move…. Water was up to their necks by the time they were rescued. I didn't even get their names.
Tuesday 10th, 1940
Went back to Sussex St. Terrible scene, houses are now heaps of broken brick and smoking timber and there's a big gaping hole in the spot where the old dear with the pitchfork lived. Bomb exploded an hour after we left. Not sure if they detonated or if it went on its own. Where will old dear live, I wonder?
Later
Perkins thinks I'm filling my own head with misery from Sussex St. Thinks I won't be able to do my job if I carry pictures like that in my head.
Thursday 12th, 1940 Dolphin
In hateful mood today. Treated to a new torment last night - the non-stop bang bang bang of Ack Ack guns. Now we have Ack Acks, Moaning Minnies, crashing bombs, droning raiders, and clanging fire trucks. Night sky is alive with steams of green lights of Ack Ack fire snaking up through the darkness looking for a Jerry. Everyone cheered at first, happy to see us fighting back. Don't clap too soon, I say. When I see Ack Ack fire take Jerry planes out of sky then I'll give a cheer, but right now I wish they'd go away. We need to sleep or we'll end up raving lunatics and no one will be fit to fight.
Friday 13th, 1940 Dolphin Square
My unlucky day. Here are siren times for last night and today.
19:00- 6
7:35 - 8:30
9:45 - 14:00 .
They started again at 16 and are still going. It's 17:30. They are driving me mad!
Later
One of Pickering's Quakers bombed out of house and home in Stepney a few nights ago. Now desperate for a place to live. They were lucky. Family across street took a direct hit and all were killed. No Anderson shelters because there wasn't room in the back gardens. Why don't papers report this? And why are you telling us this, Mr. Wilfred Pickles on the BBC? Pickering is terribly upset.
I'm worried about Auntie down there by herself on the Somerset Levels. If the invasion comes from the south, she will be right in their path. I hope she isn't hearing these things. Must write and say we are holding up in London and tell her to get the pitchfork, just in case.
Saturday 14th, 1940 Dolphin Depot
Called to Queen Anne's Mansions last night for most serious incident yet. Big monster came sailing in. Cut the building in two, slicing through eleven storeys. Twelve ambulances responded but no casualties by some miracle! Residents were sheltering in corridors, not touched by the bomb. We ferried residents to rest centres. Demolition people think most would return to flats soon. Only twenty destroyed.
Took a couple of old dears to Dolphin First Aid and watched Henry Adams give them bandages. All they really needed was a nice cup of tea. Perkins made them two cups. She was so proud of Henry.
Moon's almost full again which means better light for blackout driving. And easy targets for Jerry.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
August 1940
August 1940, London
Tuesday 13th, '40 Dolphin Square
I'm not doing this any more! One bump or a wobble and Perkins sits there like an old turnip. Yesterday the ambulance stalled. She couldn't get the motor going again and got out, ordering me to drive back to Dolphin. Got herself into a right old snit and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the day.
Friday 16th, Stn 44, 1940 Dolphin Square
Wilfred Pickles on the wireless says Croydon Aerodrome hit yesterday. People killed but few details. Sirens are going day and night, but still no raiders over Pimlico. Is this Blitzkrieg?
Saturday 17th, 1940
Another motor crash last night. Man drove straight up a lamp post and gave himself a concussion. Couldn't blame the blackout because there was a lovely full moon and the streets were bright.
Perkins may never be a driver but is proving a rock solid attendant. Navigates a dream in blackout. Many street signs are gone or hidden, but she always knows the way. Maybe we should give up the driving lessons and keep her as an attendant.
Sunday 18th,1940 Denbigh Place
Spent afternoon sunning in back garden until Mrs. P came out with bucket and scrub brush and ordered me to wash the step. Not sure I like her. Treats me like Mrs. Tickle the office char on ITMA.
Later
Heard Wilfred Pickles on wireless talking about bombings in South Wimbledon. Houses destroyed but nothing about deaths. Wonder if ambulance auxiliaries stationed in Wimbledon?
Monday 19th,1940 Dolphin Square
Signed up for anti-gas training this morning in the Dolphin decontamination unit. The instructor didn't introduce himself and mumbled on about attendance and punctuality. Lectures start next week.
Tuesday 20th,1940
Heard Himself on eleven o'clock news talking about heroics of our boys. Something about so much owed by so many to so few. Everyone loves hearing him on the wireless. I wonder if he knows when Blitzkrieg will start?
Wednesday 21st, 1940
Had encounter with a London sewer rat last night. It was running along the wall in the garage near the ambulances. Thought it was a cat and went chasing after calling "kitty kitty" until it got to the corner and looked at me with little yellow eyes. I yelped and Pickering came running. He laughed and said a country girl like me shouldn't be frightened of rats. I told him country rats don't live in sewers!
Thursday 22, 1940 Denbigh Place
Took a good old pasting from Stn 28 in Paddington today. Fourth straight loss. We started off well but the balls started flying all over the place and we couldn't get it back. Sad thing is we are the better team and should have won. Pickering's an excellent ping ponger but when he makes a few mistakes he starts to run himself down. LCC regulars. They'll destroy us. Auxiliaries should play auxiliaries, and regulars should play amongst themselves.
Smoked a Spanish Shawl with Pickering on the way home. Don't usually smoke cigarettes, but thought I should try, now that I'm an ambulance driver. Choked on the first puff and made P laugh. Kept going right to end and asked for another to prove I could manage it. Felt sick when we got back. Spanish Shawls are vile things.
Thurs 22, 1940
Dolphin Square Depot
Did stretcher drills all morning. SO Harvey was our casualty. She's small but we had trouble loading her into back of ambulance. The LCC instructor says it's technique not strength and with practice we'll learn. There won't be time to think in raid. Afterwards we slipped the canvas off the poles and washed them down. We put them outside to dry.
Took some photographs of Dolphin auxiliaries lounging on deck chairs. My, we do live the life of leisure with our books and knitting. What a war! Long may it last.
Sat 24 Aug '40
Stn 44 Dolphin
Perkins almost drove us into back of Oxford Street tram this aft. All I could see were big eyes and open mouths of the people in back window. I was trying to teach her double-declutching when the tram stopped suddenly and Perkins hit the clutch rather than the brake and we jerked forward. Came within an inch. I drove back to Dolphin with Perkins in right old huff.
Sunday 25 August, 1940
Denbigh Pl, Pimlico
Bombs down on East End last night but nothing from Wilfred Pickles or Picture Post on deaths. They said bombs dropped by wayward Jerry bomber who got lost and we shouldn't worry. It's not yet Blitzkrieg. Not sure that matters to the people bombed. Pickering heard from a friend they came down Stepney and Bethnal Green.
Moaning Minnies on more than they're off these days and nights. People just ignore them and go about their business. Nothing ever happens. There are plenty of rumours though. Man across street thinks Blitzkrieg will start 15 September and Nazi invasion will follow from south with parachutes, ships and submarines. You have to listen to him because he was in France in the Great War and he knows everything there is to know about war, Germans and Mustard Gas! Yesterday he ran over and banged on the door to tell us we should to leave immediately to save our souls. He's convinced Hitler will gas London.
Monday 26 Aug 1940
Dolphin Sq.
New girl arrived today from FANYs. Hutchinson. Used to drive ambulances for the Guards in Tower of London. Not sure why she left glamorous FANYs for dull LAAS but SO Harvey says she can drive anything and is a whiz on London topography. Likes to laugh.
Later
Started anti-gas training. Instructor drones on and reminds me of man across street with all his talk about gas. Says Mustard Gas smells like mustard seed. We took a proper tour of the decontamination unit and talked about cleansing protocols. Showers look lovely. Must try one.
Tuesday 27th Aug, 1940
Dolphin
Called to another motor vehicle incident last night. A family this time. Father OK but mother and two children were hurt, one child seriously. Head injuries. Blackout was the cause. Again. Blackouts more trouble than they're worth.
Pickering left two packets of Spanish Shawls for me. Must be a dare. I will practise and next time won't be sick.
Thursday 29 Aug 1940
Dolphin
New girl Hutch is good fun. Plays darts, drinks beer and smokes anything going, even Spanish Shawls. She's loud too. Livens the place up. She's teaching me darts. Trick is in the elbow. We've been playing two Dolphin Heavy Rescue men, Rankin and I forget the other chap's name. Dartboard is in the decontamination unit. Hutch wants to start a LAAS darts league. Thinks Dolphin would go in with a strong team. Better than table tennis I hope.
Saturday 31 Aug 1940
Denbigh
Jerries getting close. Belgravia hit last night with firebombs. Heard fire service clanging and smelt smoke. Someone said Taylor Depository took a direct hit. Wonder if Shift A called out?
Getting fed up with all this waiting. We've had a war on for a year with sirens, anti-gas precautions, first aid training, topography, but still no bombs and no real work for ambulance auxiliaries. I don't wish for it, but I'm bored. Perhaps I should get job in factory and make spark plugs or something.
Papers say air battles going well with our boys making lots of German kills but we can't see it and even if we could we couldn't be much help. I want to do something! Help!
Tuesday 13th, '40 Dolphin Square
I'm not doing this any more! One bump or a wobble and Perkins sits there like an old turnip. Yesterday the ambulance stalled. She couldn't get the motor going again and got out, ordering me to drive back to Dolphin. Got herself into a right old snit and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the day.
Friday 16th, Stn 44, 1940 Dolphin Square
Wilfred Pickles on the wireless says Croydon Aerodrome hit yesterday. People killed but few details. Sirens are going day and night, but still no raiders over Pimlico. Is this Blitzkrieg?
Saturday 17th, 1940
Another motor crash last night. Man drove straight up a lamp post and gave himself a concussion. Couldn't blame the blackout because there was a lovely full moon and the streets were bright.
Perkins may never be a driver but is proving a rock solid attendant. Navigates a dream in blackout. Many street signs are gone or hidden, but she always knows the way. Maybe we should give up the driving lessons and keep her as an attendant.
Sunday 18th,1940 Denbigh Place
Spent afternoon sunning in back garden until Mrs. P came out with bucket and scrub brush and ordered me to wash the step. Not sure I like her. Treats me like Mrs. Tickle the office char on ITMA.
Later
Heard Wilfred Pickles on wireless talking about bombings in South Wimbledon. Houses destroyed but nothing about deaths. Wonder if ambulance auxiliaries stationed in Wimbledon?
Monday 19th,1940 Dolphin Square
Signed up for anti-gas training this morning in the Dolphin decontamination unit. The instructor didn't introduce himself and mumbled on about attendance and punctuality. Lectures start next week.
Tuesday 20th,1940
Heard Himself on eleven o'clock news talking about heroics of our boys. Something about so much owed by so many to so few. Everyone loves hearing him on the wireless. I wonder if he knows when Blitzkrieg will start?
Wednesday 21st, 1940
Had encounter with a London sewer rat last night. It was running along the wall in the garage near the ambulances. Thought it was a cat and went chasing after calling "kitty kitty" until it got to the corner and looked at me with little yellow eyes. I yelped and Pickering came running. He laughed and said a country girl like me shouldn't be frightened of rats. I told him country rats don't live in sewers!
Thursday 22, 1940 Denbigh Place
Took a good old pasting from Stn 28 in Paddington today. Fourth straight loss. We started off well but the balls started flying all over the place and we couldn't get it back. Sad thing is we are the better team and should have won. Pickering's an excellent ping ponger but when he makes a few mistakes he starts to run himself down. LCC regulars. They'll destroy us. Auxiliaries should play auxiliaries, and regulars should play amongst themselves.
Smoked a Spanish Shawl with Pickering on the way home. Don't usually smoke cigarettes, but thought I should try, now that I'm an ambulance driver. Choked on the first puff and made P laugh. Kept going right to end and asked for another to prove I could manage it. Felt sick when we got back. Spanish Shawls are vile things.
Thurs 22, 1940
Dolphin Square Depot
Did stretcher drills all morning. SO Harvey was our casualty. She's small but we had trouble loading her into back of ambulance. The LCC instructor says it's technique not strength and with practice we'll learn. There won't be time to think in raid. Afterwards we slipped the canvas off the poles and washed them down. We put them outside to dry.
Took some photographs of Dolphin auxiliaries lounging on deck chairs. My, we do live the life of leisure with our books and knitting. What a war! Long may it last.
Sat 24 Aug '40
Stn 44 Dolphin
Perkins almost drove us into back of Oxford Street tram this aft. All I could see were big eyes and open mouths of the people in back window. I was trying to teach her double-declutching when the tram stopped suddenly and Perkins hit the clutch rather than the brake and we jerked forward. Came within an inch. I drove back to Dolphin with Perkins in right old huff.
Sunday 25 August, 1940
Denbigh Pl, Pimlico
Bombs down on East End last night but nothing from Wilfred Pickles or Picture Post on deaths. They said bombs dropped by wayward Jerry bomber who got lost and we shouldn't worry. It's not yet Blitzkrieg. Not sure that matters to the people bombed. Pickering heard from a friend they came down Stepney and Bethnal Green.
Moaning Minnies on more than they're off these days and nights. People just ignore them and go about their business. Nothing ever happens. There are plenty of rumours though. Man across street thinks Blitzkrieg will start 15 September and Nazi invasion will follow from south with parachutes, ships and submarines. You have to listen to him because he was in France in the Great War and he knows everything there is to know about war, Germans and Mustard Gas! Yesterday he ran over and banged on the door to tell us we should to leave immediately to save our souls. He's convinced Hitler will gas London.
Monday 26 Aug 1940
Dolphin Sq.
New girl arrived today from FANYs. Hutchinson. Used to drive ambulances for the Guards in Tower of London. Not sure why she left glamorous FANYs for dull LAAS but SO Harvey says she can drive anything and is a whiz on London topography. Likes to laugh.
Later
Started anti-gas training. Instructor drones on and reminds me of man across street with all his talk about gas. Says Mustard Gas smells like mustard seed. We took a proper tour of the decontamination unit and talked about cleansing protocols. Showers look lovely. Must try one.
Tuesday 27th Aug, 1940
Dolphin
Called to another motor vehicle incident last night. A family this time. Father OK but mother and two children were hurt, one child seriously. Head injuries. Blackout was the cause. Again. Blackouts more trouble than they're worth.
Pickering left two packets of Spanish Shawls for me. Must be a dare. I will practise and next time won't be sick.
Thursday 29 Aug 1940
Dolphin
New girl Hutch is good fun. Plays darts, drinks beer and smokes anything going, even Spanish Shawls. She's loud too. Livens the place up. She's teaching me darts. Trick is in the elbow. We've been playing two Dolphin Heavy Rescue men, Rankin and I forget the other chap's name. Dartboard is in the decontamination unit. Hutch wants to start a LAAS darts league. Thinks Dolphin would go in with a strong team. Better than table tennis I hope.
Saturday 31 Aug 1940
Denbigh
Jerries getting close. Belgravia hit last night with firebombs. Heard fire service clanging and smelt smoke. Someone said Taylor Depository took a direct hit. Wonder if Shift A called out?
Getting fed up with all this waiting. We've had a war on for a year with sirens, anti-gas precautions, first aid training, topography, but still no bombs and no real work for ambulance auxiliaries. I don't wish for it, but I'm bored. Perhaps I should get job in factory and make spark plugs or something.
Papers say air battles going well with our boys making lots of German kills but we can't see it and even if we could we couldn't be much help. I want to do something! Help!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
